Today I share My Theatre Story

Today started off unusual, I was scheduled for an interview, not really knowing what is it for but just knowing that the ministry wants to find out more about what I do. So there was Mahal,my interviewer, Indian lady with a beautiful purple shade for her lipstick colour. I signed some consent forms and requested for the transcript just to remind myself of the stupid things I might be saying through the course of the interview.

And so the first question came, "How did you get to where you are and what you do in the theatre?". Nostalgia sank in, because my relationship with the theatre started from long long ago. I told her about how in Secondary school I was in the Chinese Drama club and then the constant volunteering with the Singapore Arts Theatre at victoria theatre. How the group of us learn to change scenes in the dark and operate the smoke machines while hiding behind sets, I was called "Smoke boy" because the smoke machine was my main role, here is when I fell in love with glow tapes. We organised drama camps and empowered so many students to tell stories, it was an amazing point in my life. So the story went on about how I chanced upon the Technical Theatre Training Programme at Esplande while I was in Sydney inspired by the Sydney opera house. How that trip to Australia changed my life and brought to me where I am today.

So later I brought up a point that I want to blog about, which is the value of the things we do. I love the ides of teaching and passing down my knowledge, I've had experience mentoring students and I impart to them not only skills to get the lighting job done, but also the value of getting the job done. Because if they do not see the value of what they do, it becomes just work. So seeing the value in things matters more than doing it, without value, what you create will be just be an empty vessel. This cannot be taught, but it is an attitude that can be imparted, my discipline towards my values will rub off on them and one day, they will wonder how they even picked up such standards.

Mahal kept digging, she wanted emotions,she wants the dirt and grim of my past. So we talked about the mentorship I was priviledged to be given through the course of my career. This is a huge problem faced by freelancers in the industry, a lack of professional mentorship. I was lucky to have met my trainer, who is still a huge inspiration in my life, a fantastic leader with great foresight. I learn a great deal from him during my course of training. And then I got unofficially handed over to recieve mentorship from the most difficult person in Esplanade, it went smoothly for the first 3 months because I picked up fast and my learning attitude was pretty alright. "We finally found tiger food for the tiger", that's what my boss said. But soon these good days left, my mentor stopped talking to me after realizing that I was to be groomed to fill in his position if he were to leave. And so I got cut off, ignored, shelved. My most jaded moment in my career with the theatre, was when I realize politics and corporate culture can make its appearance in a Theatre Art scene. I do not blame my mentor, because it is the system that made him behave that way, he needed to protect his niche and his specialty. There is no incentive for him to train up a specialist to be as successful as he is, moreover train them to be better than himself. There is a presence of threat towards his position,hence in his best interest,he would rather stifle a potential successsor. Cut off the air supply and slowly let him suffocate. So I said," Mahal, the Ministry needs to do something about this, mentorship is of the essence in our line of work and they need to protect the mentors so that they will be willing to impart their skills 100%,200%, this way our industry can grow and isn't it such a waste if they were to die with all that knowledge". Mahal nodded and told me she knows exactly what I'm talking about.

Whatever I shared today might not bring about an immediate change in the industry or anything, but Mahal promised that what I did, was amazing, "we cannot change things 180º today Alvyn, but what we are doing right now, we can help move 1º each time, and one day we will reach that 180º."

Thank you Mahal :) saying my story out loud with you helped me find myself and feel more certain about my footsteps in this industry. If I ever continue in the theatre industry, I can definitely see myself going somewhere. Unless the system changes, I doubt I will find peace, because I am a strong believer in mentorship. And I found the best Mentor waiting for me in another industry, Social enterprising, it is the ideal environment for good and beautiful things to thrive. This will be another blog post, so till then, let us all strive to live an amazing life. Keep strong :)

Habit of contentment

The most dangerous thing that I can do right now is to be get back into the habit of contentment. Sure it is ideal to be contented with our daily activities and find happiness in all we do, but have you ever thought about it, could it have been better? We all owe ourselves this question,we do not owe success to anyone, not even to ourselves, there is no need for us to work so hard and make it better,but why do people do it? Sometimes it is for their parents, sometimes it is for their children,sometimes it is just for the fun of it. In the end, it is a kind of responsibilty, to people around you, if you can make things better, why not? Whichever the case, the habit of contentment acts as a frictional force to your dreams, the dream of a breakthrough, the dream of better days.

Like they always say, ' The enemy of a Great life, is a Good life'

Can you see if complacency plays a huge part in your life? It is great if you can, but awfully dangerous if you can't. I do not want to judge or be the one to tell you how you should live your life. But let me remind you, that you deserve better. Working, is inevitable, but who are you working for, yourselves? Or someone who has the ability to pay you and you call him/her boss? Or are you just reporting to someone whom your boss decides to pay higher, to make sure you do what you are suppose to.

Complacency lulls you and softens you, it makes you lose your hunger and your competitive edge, it makes you go through the motion like a buoy being carried by the waves.

'Everyday people settle for less than they deserve...but eveyone has the potential for greatness' - Bo Bennet.

You may think I'm full of shit, because you are really really happy with what you are doing right now, good for you! Really, I am truly happy for you.

Next you gotta take a second and look around you, many people are looking for a way out, they want to be like you, happy, how can you help them? What have you been doing to help your close friends get out of the rut? Or are you just up there, on the top, alone, is that true success? I don't know, but to me,as long as it is hard work on your own, and not at the expense of others, my conscience is clear.

Biggest mistakes you can make in life, No. 9 :
Surrendering to the draw of comfort. – The most common and harmful addiction in the world is the draw of comfort.  Why pursue greatness when you’ve already got 324 channels and a recliner?  Just pass the chip dip and forget about your grand plans.  NO!  The truth is growth begins at the end of your comfort zone.  Stepping outside of your comfort zone will put things into perspective from an angle you can’t grasp now, and open doors of opportunity that would otherwise not exist.

A Legacy

1. Money or property bequeathed to another by will.
2. Something handed down from an ancestor or a predecessor or from the past

A Legacy is a life not wasted, we all want to live/leave a legacy. This definition made Legacy sound like a materialistic girl, but we all know there is more to it. To leave a mark on this world, to be known to have made a difference to many lives and move hearts.

Today, I saw my lil sissy beaming at me, smiling from ear to ear, she made her own little sales, and I brought her down to make her order, looking at her eager to touch every make-up on the counter, looking at me, pleading me to "let me just stay here". I felt like the older brother I should be, giving my sissy the support she needs and then see her soar.

Today I gave the most precious person in my life her first facial from me. It was the best experience ever, to be giving my mum a facial, I felt like I did my little part of being a loving son. I want to wipe away these wrinkles, these time inflicted wounds on the most courageous woman in my life. To tell you how much your support mean to me and how grateful for all the things you do for us.

And so, it wasn't much... but what an eventful day! My little foot prints slowly painting my legacy, starting from my family, and my friends. Had my first house meeting, with my lil sissy, and my best friends, we talked about life, about our future. Isn't this how we should live? To be constantly challenging ourselves and people around us, to do better and to want better. Passion, some say overrated, but this is what I live for. My fortune teller says I am 'fire', there a flame in me that burns so brightly. I'd say,"Be careful, don't get scalded". ;)

Be somebody, live it for something meaningful, and I always say this, "We only live once, what are you going to do with it?"


Think about your life, and make something out of it. And one day, people will say "He's been here, and he made it all better".

Be SOMEBODY!

Try or Cry

Beautiful day! First thing that strike me on days like this, is to go for a swim,  my love for swimming stems from my younger days of asthma attacks, then my parents figure it will be best if I picked up swimming :S pretty risky if you ask me.

So with a hop in my stride, I went to the pool, strip down to my trunks, wash myself by the poolside shower, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY! You know how it feels to have the sun beating lightly on your back and you're having a cool shower, ready to jump into the pool. Ok, so this happened, me ready for my swim, I stretched my goggles.......and......."SNAP". Sh*t.

There goes my beautiful day :( so could this be it? I came here all the way for a nice shower by the pool and that's it? I cannot accept my fate. What a twist of event. Things didn't go my way, but did I have to go home? They must have some goggles lying around somewhere since it is freakin a pool.

So I got out of the pool and approached the lifeguard post, "excuse me, (swinging my broken goggles), sorry, if you might have...", "Here you go", sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet, and he just whipped me a pair so swiftly like he already prepared for my arrival.

I can't help thinking about the POWER of TRYing, when things don't go your way and you seek a solution. I could have gone home crying, blaming my ill fate. Don't blame your fate, there is nothing you can do about it, it is how you can react accordingly. A friend's dad told us this when we were pondering over if we should call a friend out, "If you never try, you will never know", the lifeguard could have said sorry they are out of extra goggles, but if I never tried, I would never know; my chances for a swim would have been ZERO, when I asked, I changed the probability to 50%. That's a huge number jump in statistics if you ask me.Haha!

Wise words from my best friend,

Love your fate, change your attitude, you will be able to achieve greatness. That is my believe, if you will believe in it too.

Weight of the world

Rainy days again, we get this periodically in the year over a few months. Horrible for a scooter rider like me, to have myself drenched from neck down just because I have my helmet on. And then the sight of the city centre came to my attention, the clouds came down and swallowed half of all the buildings.

There I witness the weight of the world, because being wet, I felt burdened, I felt gravity working harder on me. The clouds took on weight and they descend because they too carried weight. Then I talk, words carry weight too, but mine they never "sank", I realize how empty my words can be, so "weightless" and so superficial.

Who am I? Why am I such a hypocrite? why do I give people my words when sometimes I know I don't mean it, "I'll think about it", "let me look through it first", "I'll let you know later", things like that when in fact, I already know the answer. You see what I mean when my words do not have weight? They are just pleasantries, meant to protect my image, or cushion your pride, I cannot figure which.

How much do your words weigh? Can you back every word you say with conviction? Constructing your words and sentences as flawless as a finely cut diamond? Is it possible to make your words weigh as much as it is meant to be?

Chris Medina sang this, "what are words when you don't really mean them when you say them, what are words if they're only for good times then they don't"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQY4dIxY1H4

This got to change, I need to work on this, I want to stand by my words, I want to be able to look into someone special and say words that will change our lives. I'll say words that can move worlds, words that can bring life and words that will live forever.

This has to change, and this gotta start from fundamentals, it is who you want to be as a person, and who you will be for people. With words that weigh the world, "They live on even when we're gone".

Weigh your words, then you know the weight of your conviction.

How are you living today and how are you living it for your future? Let us start NOW.

MEAN what you SAY!!!!

Dreams made of Glass

time that you spend relaxing and doing things that you enjoy rather than time spent doing things for other people
"Like most parents with young children, I don’t get much me time."

As much as I feel that we all need our "Me Time" when facing difficult times, I think it is an awful waste of precious minutes and seconds. Think of the times you tell yourself, "ok I need a few days to recover from this wreck". So why give yourself a timeline to that wreck and subject yourself to further damage?

Here it is, a wreck, a broken glass shattered across the floor, instead of telling yourself, "let me take one day to clear this up", doesn't it make more sense to "I'm gonna pick them all up right away" so that you can spend the rest of your time( / life) doing something more useful.

We are adaptable creatures, we evolved through conditions in history you can only imagine, we evolved through wars and disasters, years of industrial pollution and media bombardment, viruses that threaten to wipe us off the surface of this planet. We are made to last, and so, it is a choice to live on and believe in that dream, that dream of a future. 


There is nothing wrong with dreaming, because only with dreams, we are able to fly, are are able to scour the deepest oceans and explore the vast universe. With dreams, we silence the critics, we achieve the things they say is impossible.

Find yourself, and come tell me, have you been dreaming.

The day that turned grey

Imagine the day your world went silent, the jet plane that flew overhead is nothing but a quiet speck in the universe. The day you felt nothing, taste nothing and all you senses go numb. I call this day, the day that turned grey. I was on my scooter as usual on my way off to work, the sky was grey, I saw a plane, it moved slowly across the sky, it was quiet, a shocking silence. I look back onto the road and everything was back in motion, and then I glance back up again...the silence sets in.

Where was I? The questions we ask our maker flooded my thoughts. What was I doing with whatever I have left?

Source from http://www.flickr.com/photos/lulu_in_perth/3852368394/

I told myself I have to remember this day, because the helplessness and the doubts that came with the silence is something worth pondering on. I needed to answer those questions.

Where are you heading? : To work, and I am not happy with work, in fact, I am angry, I am angry that the system of work favours the parasites, it drives competition among colleagues who have the humblest intentions, to do their best, yet it makes people turn against each other and also themselves. People lose themselves because in this world, the society doesn't like us to be ourselves, so through education, they mould us, they take our souls away and replace us with a parasite. A parasite so strong, it works you to your death. 


Can you do better? : What the hell are you talking about, of course I can, I need to, I have to find a system where everyone wins, you reap the fruit of your labour and all is in your control, not in the organization, not in the society, not in the financial climate. Not only I can do better, I want everyone to do better.


What are you going to do about it? : I'll find the vaccine, I'll purge this parasite and I will succeed. Lord help me. Help me see, help me feel.

The dweller within

Sitting in a dark space, I slowly let my thoughts gather, I imagine my thoughts to fill up this space as wide as an amphitheatre. All my sadness and joy, my embarrassment and pride, I filled the space with myself. At that moment was when I felt it, a voice within that judged my every action, my every decision, and he is my critic. "You should have done that, you could have avoided it, you would have done better if."

Critic is a dweller, he sneaks through your mind and soul and he sentence a judgement on them. He is the arm that pulls you back before your leap, he questions your heart and her motives. But do not judge your critic too harshly, he is afterall just cushioning you from any possible harm or hurt. He is just a protector but caging you in a cradle like a vulnerable child, keeping you away from anything that could possibly hurt your fragile pride.

It is never easy negotiating with your critic, you can never come to a consensus. By accepting that fact, you will be able to come to better terms with yourself. Remember any past regrets you have in life? Did your critic judge them too harshly for you?

But life is just too short to let the dweller stop your every move! We want change! We want progress! We want to reach new heights!

Persuade him. Comfort him. Shove him, beat him down, trample on him! Whatever it takes, you take control, and you decide your destiny.

Gap in the sky

(Photo source : http://www.fotocommunity.com/pc/pc/display/21282818)

The clap of thunder rocks the earth, the downpour of rain drench the world. With a disoriented beam of plasma tearing through the heavens, the fragile sky tore. Humbled at the presence of the almighty prowess of mother nature, I felt so small, so minute and totally insignificant in this universe. But I picked up a certain courage, and pitied the vast blue sky.

"Why do you cry? Why do you weep? Why do you scorn at us with such almighty fit."

"Are you angry? Are you sad? Or are you resentful that nobody cares?"

I saw the flashing light, and heard a monstrous crash, with a 'BOOM', the clouds just left.

Gap in the sky, like a scar you appear, a gentle reminder of your presence, ever so near.

As quickly as the storm came, as hurriedly as it left, leaving behind a subtle moist in the earth. As the warmth crawl back in, as the surroundings brighten up with signs of life. Oh mother nature, what a tease, you could've killed us without a flinch.

Thank you for your kindness and gentle breeze, as you caress every being with such ease. Thank you mother, you gave us life, because of you we take flight.

A date with your Hair Stylist

I am sure everyone have certain affinity with your hairstylist, it was never the salon, it has always been "MY PERSONAL STYLIST". 

So today I did not go back to my usual stylist, Izoc, because I just felt like getting a quick trim. So I drop by the new hair salon across the street. I was so disappointed when Kai Wei (got his name card to find out) walked away to explain something to a colleague, he didn't excuse himself, so it was only natural to him that I sit there and wait for something to happen.

Boy I must say how much I miss Izoc, his attentiveness is unparalleled, it is always very personal and he gives me very personal advice on my hair and also on life. We share our favourite music and what we think of the new film that is showing.

So you see, being in a business of hair, it has never really been which salon you work for, it is always what you can provide as a stylist. I chanced upon Izoc 2 years ago when I was having a break from work and decided to just drop in a salon for a trim. I am never the kind to tell what I want for my hair, it has always been,"the weather is hot and I want to look good, do something about it". Izoc never fail to give me a new look every time and he always tell me what he wants for me on my next visit, can you see how much personal attention he gives me here? To already be planning for a follow up, how stupid am I to jump ship and "cheat" on my wonderful hairstylist!

Till today, Izoc is not only a dear friend, he is my personal stylist, he knows me as a person and not a customer, I go back to him not only as a loyal customer and most important, a dear friend.

We are even on Scramble with Friends!

The best business strategy has always been to generate repeat customers, it is not easy, but not difficult either. Look at Izoc, he hooked me in since day one, doesn't matter if he changed the salon he works in, I will travel anywhere to find thim, because he is "MY PERSONAL STYLIST". 

First Rejection

"Congratulations!" My mentor exclaimed in text, "Today you got your first rejection!" Oh, ok, so now I am suppose to be happy with that? Oh yes, today is my first home visit and luckily or unluckily, it was a very dear neighbour whom I help get a porcelain knife set, nothing big, just my little way of starting and trying to build awareness for myself.

Ok, so aunty, not being very receptive, I took the initiative to look around her place for clues and leads that I could use in the future, you know, being initiative and ask smart questions that would maybe stir some curiosity. Don't give up, I kept telling myself, it is about the future, let the now be a foundation for a fruitful and successful future.

I now understand why I got a congratulations from my mentor, it is because she is glad that I am getting a wholesome learning experience from my first few steps, with this I will be better ready for more challenges and pick up difficult tasks. Building a long term business is our goal, I believe this will work with hard work and persistence, so rejection or insult, I will endure, as long as my conscience is clear, I will go to bed every night giving myself a pat on the back. Congratulations Alvyn, another day of great work and changing lives!

I hope you learn to pick yourself up from rejections too, because the worst kind of rejection is by yourself.

The Moving Room

The moving room, ever so lonesome and at the same time never alone. Walking into it is like entering a whole new dimension, with it's mirrors and buttons,we choose our destiny. The door closes and we are offered a minute of reclusion, you can choose to relax and forget everything, or gear up for what's happening after the door opens. I was in a moving room today, and I was admiring it's all seeing ability,to be able to watch over and observe everyone come and go.

We are our true selves by how we act when no one is watching. The moving room has this ability to judge us for who we are in this sense. There is the model wannabe,flirting with the mirror wishing some talent agency would scout for her. Mr impatient always jamming on the buttons and rushing everyday. Pregnant woman wishing she never had the child causing her to miss her promotion. The moving room never judged because she understands, she understand her role in the universe, because the world has its way of working and she cannot interfere. Moving room will not betray because she is not built to, unlike the people she sees daily. We are not born to betray,but we decide to,it is a concious choice to betray, we betray our hearts, our pride, to attain things we think can bring us happiness,usually momentarily.

My heart spoke to the room and asked for enlightenment,"with your all seeing wisdom,please guide me". All she said was,"Walk out the door and live your life". Yes,Live your life,yes. 

I waited for the door to open, I know my next step and why I am going to succeed. As the first ray of light enters, I bid the moving room goodbye, and stepping forward, basking in the glory of my new chosen life.